In her dream, ShAlexandria swam in the bluest lagoon she had ever seen,naked from one coal black reef to the next, spanning nearly a football field. The sky was beautiful, she thought, clear and sunny without a cloud in sight, but she noticed puffs of white smoke coming from behind her. [M1] There were buildings about half a mile from the water, but there were no people she could see, just puffs of white smoke. She looked around, thinking she was alone,[M2] but there was a ripple in the water near the reef across from her. Strange, she thought. She didn’t remember seeing anyone else with her. Perhaps it was a bird dipping for a quick meal, but there weren’t any she could see.
A figure beneath the cool water swam close to her. There was nothing around her to defend herself with, but that didn’t matter; she was quite capable of taking care of herself. The figure looped around her., making her aware she was naked.[M3] A man emerged from the water in a swift motion; his long, coal black hair hanging near his elbows, water dripping from his cinnamon brown skin cascading down his perfectly chiseled body.[M4]
“I’ve been waiting for you,” he saysJoey said, a mischievous smile spread across his square jaw.
She gasped. Of all the places she could be, he had to be here too.[M5] She moved across the country to live a peaceful more quiet life, to get away from the one man that broke her hearther ex[M6] , the one man that was in and out of their daughter’s life whenever he felt like it., and now she’s in some strange place with the man she She wanted to fill that void.[M7] He didn’t feel the same way though, at least that’s what she told herself when she found out about his many conquests[M8] , feeling a fool for becoming one of them.
“I’ve been waiting a long time for you, Alexandria.”
The words she longed to hear her entire life, but this wasn’t real. This was what she wanted, but it couldn’t be real.[M9] Ever. He would never commit to just her, and she wouldn’t ask him to. It had to be his choice, his decision to be happy with her, but she didn’t expect that from him. He would be miserable being with just one woman and she couldn’t be with a man that was miserable for her sake.[M10]
There was a faint sound of birds and a waterfall coming from around her, but it sounded like an echo, making it difficult to pinpoint the location of the sound. A dim light pulsed behind his body, gradually increasing into what seemed like the sun peeking out from behind the puffs of white smoke. She closed her eyes, shielding them from the blinding light.
There was a silent mimicking laughter[M11]
Cleaning up quickly, she looked at herself in the mirror, styling a hairdo only Tawny Kitaen[M13] , the ex-wife of the lead singer of Whitesnake who appeared in many of the band’s music videos, would be jealous of; not even a comb could tame that mess. Her morning progressed easily as she finished getting ready for work, donning a pair of khaki slacks, a white buttoned up shirt she tucked in and a pair of boots. Her leather jacket easily covered the police issued firearm she holstered on the back of her slacks.[M14]
Langley wasn’t messy as a teenager, no posters of her favorite actor, singer, or group hung on the wall, no notes with initials and hearts littered the mirror. Maybe it was a different time when she was her daughter’s age, Alexandria thought. She remembered her room being darker, posters of several “hair bands” all over her walls, pictures of her and some friends in braces and their hair in pony-tails off to the side, and yearbooks marked by everyone and anyone that could possibly even leave a message, usually something like “see you next fall,” “it was nice knowing you. Hope to see you sometime in the future” or the infamous “I’m the first one to sign your crack.” Those were different days, but were they so different now?
[M15] Alexandria continued her morning routine: locking up the house, driving her jeep to the local health foods store where she stopped for her morning smoothie, stopped for gas on her way to work and made the, what was slowly becoming overwhelming, decision to enter the police station. She enjoyed her job, but the thought of seeing Joey repeatedly was enough to put her teeth on edge.[M16]
Joey, the tall drink of water in her dreams, was an investigator from the local Indian Reservation named Joseph Whitecloud. He had been working both on and off the reservation for nearly ten years, fifteen prior only on the reservation, before telling the police chief either he promote somebody to assist with the investigations or he find someone that was capable to share the large workload. Law enforcement on the reservation meant dealing with the FBI, since it was federal land, when the crime warranted it.[M17]
Alexandria had many contacts with the FBI throughout the United States, but those she worked with were mostly back on the east coast. Her friends knew she was looking to relocate, though Langley was an adult and able to take care of herself, Alexandria still felt the need for a change and didn’t want to leave her daughter in the city where she couldn’t get to her immediately in case of an emergency. Not to mention her ex, the man that broke Alexandria’s heart,Her ex wouldn’t be of any use to Langley. , Especially especially since he gave up adoption parental rights to his daughter, but Alexandria wasn’t one to hold a grudge when he came asking to be forgiven and to at least be involved in their daughter life, nothing more.[M18]
Putting in the request for a transfer, Alexandria quickly packed up everything they owned, . They sold whatever they didn’t want to keep, and sold their her condo for nearly double what she paid for it originally, slightly less than the actual appraisal estimate,[M19] for a three bed, two bath vacation cabin sitting on ten acres of mostly wooded land and a private lake. Several agents along the way offered their homes for the night, insisting Alexandria and Langley skip the hotel and enjoy a nice home-cooked meal. Langley often remarked she was amazed how many friends Alexandria had and was grateful not to have to stay in a hotel and eat at some local diner with average[M20] lousy service.[M21]
It was a good move for the both of them. Langley was free to do whatever she wanted and Alexandria was worry free, at least until she met Joey. She didn’t know many Native Americans and never worked with any. As that thought entered her mind, she would chastise herself repeatedly, saying they weren’t aliens or a bizarre species, or subspecies as scientists have now determined, of Homo sapiens. He was just another man, a very good-looking man with a pair of baby blues [M22] that left Alexandria weak in the knees, but he was just another man.[M23] [M24]
She found it odd that a man with such a dark complexion had eyes normally seen on an Englishman or Scotsman. He gave had givern her a long history of his family background, named two “pale-faces” that entered his bloodline giving the result of a ruggedly handsome Indian with pale eyes. He was charming, at least that was what Alexandria thought in the beginning, but now he was just another man with an agenda; looking for a way to get into her pants.[M25]
Blowing out a puff of air, Alexandria climbed out of her jeep, not too hard for her since she was slightly above the average height for women. Entering the police station, she made a beeline for her office, avoiding Joey at all costs. It had been very hard for the past few months to avoid him; after all, they did work together.
Sitting down at her desk the once thin case file now full of notes Alexandria had been working on was taunting her.[M26] Shortly after arriving in Timber Lake, a small town[M27] in the Pacific Northwest sitting just west of the Sound, Alexandria immediately started working on some old cases, typically called cold cases. These cases have been exhausted to[M28] every avenue possible but have not been solved due to lack of cooperation with the authorities[M29] , sometimes due to lack of hard evidence. The officers or investigators who originally worked on the case did everything they were able to do, but sometimes the community will not be as helpful or the evidence the officers or investigators have may not be credible enough to hold up in court.[M30]
There was a knock at the door. Before thinking clearly, Alexandria told the person on the other side of the door to come in. A sweet, musky smell flirted with her nose, her senses immediately flaring out. She knew who stood in front of her, the man she had been trying to escape from for many months, the man that haunts her dreams nearly[M31] every night. He stood in front of her; a devilish smirk squared his very masculine features.
“Hi Lexi.”
“What do you want?” [M32] Alexandria growled[M33] , completely bypassing her annoyance of his use of a nickname. Maybe if she ignored him he would just go away, she thought.
“Somebody wake up on the wrong side of the bed?” he teased.
Alexandria spared him a glance and returned to her work. She didn’t have time for him or his ridiculous remarks. There was plenty of work to be done between the both of him, and she made him aware of that fact, but it didn’t seem to make him want to leave. Apparently, it was his mission in life to annoy her until she went screaming for the hills or her grave,[M34] whichever one came first.
She wished the move came with a warning: You will sleep with the only hot man within fifty [M35] miles and he will drive you insane for all eternity, or death, whichever comes first. Alexandria enjoyed the change of scenery, not to mentionbut her new office wasn’t as equipped as her previous place of employment, but she enjoyed the low-tech atmosphere.
Timber Lake wasn’t so small, it had everything anybody needed, with the exception of a mall; you had to travel the five and loop around the Sound to find any decent shopping. It was a good place though. There were two large, competing grocery stores, about five gas stations scattered throughout the town, a couple Mexican restaurants, a Chinese buffet, a fish and burger hut and a few public schools. It was a good place, just nothing exciting ever happened, but a shift in excitement was what Alexandria wanted.[M36]
“Is there something you needed?” Alexandria asked begrudgingly. “I know we both have plenty of work to take care of, so if you wouldn’t mind, I would like to continue with my work.”
He finally took the hint, Alexandria sighed. She didn’t like distractions, and she especially didn’t like Joey. He broke her heart and to her that meant absolutely everything. There was this innate need for an intact family, and Langley’s father failed to provide that for both her and Alexandria. Keeping herself busy for the next twenty years, Alexandria didn’t have a need for relationships, not even the need for one-night stands. She kept herself too busy and knew as a person in law enforcement, that she would analyze every little thing about a civilian.
Where did that put Joey? He obviously wasn’t a civilian, but perhaps it was the idea that he was something she had never really ventured towards. Perhaps it was also the fact that he didn’t know her yet and wasn’t in any way intimidated by her lack of real femininity. At least, that was how Langley’s father had put it[M37] to her one night.
Alexandria accepted that fact a long time ago. She would never be the belle of the ball, know how to function as a proper lady or even walk properly in a gown, let alone a pair of heels. She tried on a pair of Langley’s wedges and nearly broke her neck. She eyed a pair of two-inch pumps with an open toe and managed to wobble only a little before eyeing the stripper-like stilettos. Alexandria knew better, she wouldn’t survive one-step without falling flat on her face.
That was when she heard a few women whispering in the ladies room. Funny, she thought, isn’t that where you hear all the town gossip? They snickered about how naïve Alexandria really was about him, and how she was nothing more than his play toy. He had slept with nearly all the women in town and would eventually tire of her and throw her to the curb. That was what ended their relationship. He tried to explain about his past, but Alexandria believed if he hadn’t already come clean about who he was then he didn’t really have any intentions of telling her the truth in the first place.[M39]
Alexandria was exhausted, with everything. Her caseload, the need for uninterrupted sleep, preferably the kind that didn’t include any sort of dreams, Joey. She lied lay her head down on her desk and closed her eyes. Her vacation couldn’t come any quicker. Today was her final day at work before she took a week off. Joey could get by without her, it wasn’t like they really needed her help, though Joey insisted she took a huge weight off his shoulders.
“Are you feeling alright?”
Alexandria didn’t have to look up to know it was Joey[M40] . He had a knack for entering a room completely silent, part of his native instincts he often joked. She tried to wish him away, hoping if she ignored him long enough he would get the message, but that never worked. It was pointless to ignore him and she knew that, but she didn’t have to agree with it.
“I’m fine,” she sighed. “I just need some sleep, that’s all. I have too much to do and my vacation can’t get here fast enough.”
“What are you planning on doing?”
Hesitating to answer him, it didn’t really matter. Either she told him or when he called the house Langley would tell him. “I plan on sleeping. I can’t think of anything better to do with my free time than to catch up on my sleep the first couple of nights. Then maybe I can take care of those repairs I’ve been meaning to do.”
“Let’s go get some lunch?”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
“I think it’s a fine idea. Plus, I want to talk. All you have to do is listen to what I have to say. Whatever your decision, it’s your decision.”
“Please Joey, would you drop it.”
“No, I won’t. I need you to listen to what I have to say and you can decide for yourself what you want to do with the information I give you.”
He was being awfully cryptic, but that was Joey. He wasn’t the type to just throw it at you. He liked to play games; though Alexandria wanted to hate him for it, she accepted his invitation. If this was the way to be rid of him finally, at least in a personal nature, she would gladly take him up on his offer. Being the gentleman he is outside of the office, he would no doubt pay for their meal.[M41]
She grabbed her antacids from her desk, a necessity for the past two weeks, sent a quick message to her daughter that she had lunch plans and grabbed her coat. Alexandria wasn’t sure what would come of this, but she hoped it would have something to do with Joey finally realizing he couldn’t have her andhe could move on. Maybe this would put an end to her restless nights and the fantasies her mind created each night while she slept.
He put his fork down and took several gulps of his water as if he was choking. Was he nervous? Whatever he had to say it was taking him a lot of effort to go through with it. He seemed like a nervous high school boy waiting for his prom date to come down from her room or a man preparing to propose to the love of his life and doesn’t know if she will really say yes. He looked pitiful and as much as she wanted to laugh at him, it worried her a little.
“I suppose I should say what I have to say and be done with it.”
Alexandria gave him a quizzical look before relaxing. Some of what he said she already knew. He explained about his past, why he did what he did and why he stopped. He wanted to find something meaningful, and none of the women he had met wanted what he wanted. He, as well as his conquests, was nothing more than a quick call and an easy bang. None of it made him happy though, so he stopped everything and focused more on his work, home and land.[M42]
What came next took her by surprise. She could barely breathe as he continued to speak. He unloaded everything, his entire life [M43] crammed into her ears. What he really wanted but was afraid he couldn’t have it because of the mistakes in his past. He shared every wish and desire, everything he believed he could have with her. Butterflies flitted through her stomach. And her Breathing breathing became hard and she wasn’t sure if she could take much more.
It was everything she wanted, but with a man she didn’t want to trust. Was it that she didn’t trust him, couldn’t or wouldn’t? Didn’t each word mean the same thing? [M44] She ran away, as quickly as she could, unable to hold her food down any longer. She felt more embarrassed for the reputation of the restaurant than she did for herself. It wasn’t the food that made her feel sick.
“Are you ok?” [M45] Joey asked, placing a wet cloth on the back of her neck and holding her hair.
She tried to yell at him to get the hell out of the ladies room but she wasn’t finished. Her stomach was determined to empty itself of all its contents. The heaving had become too much and she could barely hold herself up.
“Is everything okay in there?” A woman nervously asked, no doubt the manager but Alexandria didn’t take the time to investigate.
“We thought she was over the bug, that’s all,” Joey curtly stated.
There it was, all the proof she needed. Her name in little white letters, today’s date, the estimate height and weight of the thing growing inside of her. Not a thing, a baby. Not just a baby, but possibly twins? There was more than one baby growing inside of her nearly half century old body. Age never meant a thing to her before. It was just a number, but now it meant everything. Alexandria knew she was more than healthy enough to carry; she was in the best shape of her life. In even better shape than when she was pregnant with Langley, but was the rest of her healthy enough?
Alexandria may not have been a religious person, but she didn’t believe in alternatives. Abortion was out of the question, there was more than one human living and breathing through her. It, not it, the babies had as much a right to live as she did. She didn’t believe much in adoption either. Sure, there are plenty of people out in the world who wanted a baby but couldn’t have one, but Alexandria couldn’t handle knowing someone out there would be raising the babies she carried for nine months and gave birth to.[M47]
Alexandria stuffed everything in her purse and left the room. Joey was waiting near the door and fell into step next to her. She avoided eye contact with him altogether. How did she tell the man she had hated[M48] for the past, almost, five months that she was going to have his babies? Joey told her he already accepted the fact a long time ago that he would never have a family of his own, but he accepted the idea that someday he could be part of a family.
He had every right to know, but Alexandria was afraid how he would react. Would he run away, like Langley’s father, or would he stick around and actually be there? Of course he would stick around, he wanted a family of his own. On the dates they had, Joey often talked about how he felt he missed his chance to settle down when he was younger[M49] . The job became number one in his life.
Now all Alexandria could think about was her job. She remembered how hard it was in the beginning with Langley, but it seemed altogether a different story now. Why was it so different? Maybe deep down inside she was worried about how Joey would react. Sometimes he would remark how he felt about some of the patrol officers that were pregnant. They would be on desk duty, obviously, but he felt the idea of a pregnant woman carrying a firearm was a little “redneck.” Maybe he was right, she thought as the image of some country living patriot on a compound with his wife and umpteen children came to mind, both parents carrying machine guns.[M50]
He drove her home in silence. Joey tried to strike up a conversation, but Alexandria couldn’t move her mouth. If she attempted to speak, she was afraid she might start crying, then what would he think of her? Would that matter? If she told him the truth, she would see his true colors. [M51]
“How about I stop by sometime next week to help you with those repairs?”
“I would…” There it was, the first tremble of her lips. She couldn’t say anymore without making a fool of herself.
He pulled up to her house and walked around to her door. She remembered this when they were dating. Joey would open the doors for her all the time, help her into her seat and help her up from wherever she was sitting. He was a real gentleman. Would he be the same after she told him, or would he become one of those overbearing, protective first time fathers?
Joey held out his hands and pulled her into his arms. He smelled good and felt warm. She couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. They poured out of her like running water. [M52] Her heart felt like it was ripping in half, leaving her feeling guilty and needing his reassurance all at the same time.
She nodded.
“When you’re ready, I want you tell me everything.”[M53]
Pushing away, Alexandria looked up at him and smiled. He wiped away at her face before she stumbled towards the front door. She hadn’t realized her legs were still so weak. Joey lifted her up easily and headed straight for her bedroom. Alexandria rolled away from him and curled into a ball as he lied lay her down. He stood there for a moment before leaving her alone.[M54]
When she woke up, it was still daylight. There were noises coming from downstairs. Langley must have been cleaning up the dishes. Alexandria felt a wave of sickness coming, probably because she was so hungry. Making her way down to the kitchen, she could smell the chicken soup filling the air, taunting her senses. Another wave of sickness came, but she didn’t care. She only wanted to eat so she could start to feel better.
In the kitchen, Joey was underneath the sink fixing the garbage disposal Alexandria had been meaning to replace. She grabbed a bowl and served herself some soup. Her stomach was already beginning to feel better after the first couple of bites. He stood up and smiled at her before he put everything back underneath the sink.
“Langley showed me your list,” he stated. “I hope you don’t mind me coming by today?”
“Today?”
“You slept all night. It’s Saturday, the first day of your vacation.”
“I slept all night?”
“I suspected you would after the day you had yesterday. I’m really glad you are feeling a little better today.”
The next few days went by quickly, each day Joey returning to repair something else Alexandria had been meaning to fix. It was encouraging to Alexandria seeing him this way, being helpful and happy. It was exactly what she wanted, but would it still be the same once she told him the truth? She still had her reservations, but Joey had the right to know what was going on in her life, in their lives.
“I have something I want to tell you, but you must understand I have many reservations about this.”
[M1]Wordy
[M2]Wordy
[M3]Wordy
[M4]Mute Fabio
[M5]Rigged plot; to mute
[M6] Explain this as ex
[M7]Complicate her emotions
[M8] Make It two conquests so he’s not an asshole
[M9]Turn into dreamstate grammar
[M10]Overkill; never trick reader
[M11]Pathetic fallacy; cut
[M12]Cut
[M13]Allusion or part of Alex’s life?
[M14]Purpose
[M15]Cut
[M16]Why
[M17]Make this Alex’s point of view
[M18]Langley moves with her, but put her someplace else, not living with Alexandria
[M19]Hate towards the ex?
[M20] Lousy
[M21]Give Langley some attitude
[M22] Delete. He’s not Sinatra
[M23]Over simplifying Alexandria & Joey
[M24]Purpose?
[M25]Not just Alexandria’s sexual desire vs Alexandria’s feeling burnt, re: male sexual desire. Why over simplifying?
[M26]Too cartoony
[M29]More specific since she’s one of the authorities
[M30]All Plot
[M32] Alex is overcompensating. Make It seem like “not at the office.”
[M33]Unless Alex is aware she’s over compensating
[M34]Not credible
[M35]So she’s slept with Joey?
[M36]Re: job; not re: Joey
[M37]Clarify, not re: Joey and femininity lack; Joey & ex broke Alexandria’s heart so she is a sucker?
[M38]Wordy
[M39] Cut. Make Joey tell her about his past.
[M40]So he left and came back?
[M41]Wordy
[M43] Cut. Too much
[M44] Cut
[M45] Does she love him enough to tell him the truth.
[M46] Cut pages 11, 12, 13, 14
[M47]Could cut
[M48]NO!
[M49] Earlier in story with dialogue
[M50]Useful?
[M51] Cut
[M52] Cut
[M53]No Dr. Phil
[M54]POV Error
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